This curious psychological state, which is sometimes also labelled as a false sense of shame, seems to be one of the most effective causes of blushing. Shyness manifests itself by a lowering of the eyes and looking away, by specific, awkward, contrary and nervous movements of the body and by actually turning red.
Some women though turn red from shyness perhaps a hundred or even a thousand times before they even once turn red because they actually have done something that might be worthy of reproach or for which they ought to be embarrassed.
Shyness depends on sensitivity to the opinion of others, especially in relation to outward appearances. At the same time, it can involve a positive opinion just as easily as a negative one. Other people usually don’t know anything about our conduct or our character and are hardly even interested in it, but they can criticise our outward appearance and frequently do so. For this reason, shy people have a particular tendency to become shy and to turn red when they are in the company of strangers.
The simple awareness that you have a special feature or even that there is just something different about your clothing, or even some kind of insignificant feature of your personal or even facial appearance that could invite criticism, a feature that could easily attract the attention of a stranger, makes an already shy person even more shy to the extent that it is scarcely bearable.
If, however, it is a matter not so much of personal appearance but rather more to do with personal conduct and behaviour, then the shy person becomes even more shy, inhibited and self-conscious in the presence of those people the shy person knows and on whose personal judgement the shy person places a high value. Some people are so sensitive in this respect that they only need to be spoken to for their self-consciousness to rise to the fore and to trigger a light blush.
Disapproval and ridicule more easily trigger shyness and blushing than approval or praise, although these are also very effective at causing some people to turn red.
Conceited people are seldom shy and hardly ever experience any feelings of inferiority as they have such a very high opinion of themselves that they are unable to assume that other people might have a low opinion of them.
However, the reason why proud people in particular should be extremely shy can be put down to the fact that, despite their self-confidence, they place a lot of reliance on the opinion of others even if this is usually in a disparaging way.
Shy and timid people are seldom inhibited in the company of those they trust insofar as they are assured of their good opinion and affection. For example that of a daughter towards her mother.
Shyness or timidity is often associated with fear due to the origins of the words. Despite this, shyness or timidity are not the same as fear. A timid person obviously fears observation or being watched by others. However, it cannot be said that the shy person is afraid of others on a regular basis. He may be as brave as any hero in battle but in smaller matters in the presence of strangers he may be extremely shy and respond with inhibitions.
Just about everyone is extremely nervous and tense and has a touch of stage fright when he or she has to speak for the first time in front of an audience. Most people remain nervous and tense their whole lives. This doesn’t have to be a consequence of shyness but can also arise out of a conscious awareness of the imminent major challenge even if the person feels completely capable of mastering it. Yet despite this, shy people suffer in such situations considerably more than others.
With very young children it is very difficult to distinguish between fear and shyness even though shyness can occur at a very early age. With one of my own children I noted a trace of shyness when she was two years and three months old when I returned from being away from home for a week. Although she didn’t go red, her eyes turned away from me for a few minutes. On other occasions I have seen how shyness and shame can appear in the eyes of young children even before they have developed the ability to blush.
To all intents and purposes, shyness depends on self-esteem (from drawing attention to ourselves). This is why it is also easy to understand that it is very damaging to children if they are ridiculed for their shyness or even punished as the only effect that is achieved by this is that they focus their attention even more on themselves. Nothing can cause more damage to young people in this respect than having their feelings constantly watched and the impression that a merciless observer or audience is permanently staring at their face. In such circumstances they are unable to think of anything other than the fact that they are constantly being watched and can feel nothing except shame and anxiety.
You can learn immediately how to effectively rid yourself of emotional and social inhibitions with the EL-METHOD from Tony Gaschler.
Removing shyness and blushing with the EL-METHOD
German language version: Schüchternheit und Erröten | Hemmungen auflösen mit der EE-Methode